LIV Golf is bringing its traveling circus and sideshow extravaganza to Bedminster, New Jersey this weekend. Ringmaster Greg Norman has been spotted in downtown Bedminster this week handing out $100 bills to anyone who commits to showing up as a spectator for the event.
However, first and foremost on nearly every golf fan’s mind is who will take home the team trophy. All eyes will be focused on the much anticipated matchup between Dustin Johnson’s Skulls and Shanks taking on Bryson DeChambeau’s title hungry Royal Chili-dippers.
“Well you know for me it’s never been about the money,” said Johnson. “It’s always been about leading my team into battle. Bryson’s got his Chili-dippers on a roll, so they’re going to give us all we can handle, but I think my guys are up to the challenge.”
This week’s sleeper could be Lee Westwood’s Major Meltdown GC, but they’re going to have their hands full with Sergio Garcia’s Ball Washers. The Ball Washers have really been rounding into form since Sergio sat the team down last month and reminded them of what they’re playing for.
“Look, we’re not just out here playing for obscene amounts of money. We’re trying to build a tradition here…a tradition of playing for once unthinkable sums of cash, and if that doesn’t mean anything to you guys then you ain’t a Ball Washer. You’re just a bunch of dirty balls,” Garcia upbraided his team after a poor showing in Portland.
Joining Phil Mickelson’s Mulligans GC will be former president Donald Trump. It is said that the ex-leader of the free world is rather fond of taking free drops, so he should be well supplied by the Mulligans. Rumor has it that Mickelson has been warned off proposing any side bets with the former president who reportedly hasn’t conceded a lost wager in several decades.
The first two hundred cars to show up for the event will get their gas tanks topped off for free. So, if you’re coming out, you’ll want to coast in on fumes to take advantage of this very special offer.