July 2022 – If there is something

LIV Golf team matchup of the week: Skulls & Shanks vs. Royal Chili-dippers

LIV Golf is bringing its traveling circus and sideshow extravaganza to Bedminster, New Jersey this weekend. Ringmaster Greg Norman has been spotted in downtown Bedminster this week handing out $100 bills to anyone who commits to showing up as a spectator for the event.

However, first and foremost on nearly every golf fan’s mind is who will take home the team trophy. All eyes will be focused on the much anticipated matchup between Dustin Johnson’s Skulls and Shanks taking on Bryson DeChambeau’s title hungry Royal Chili-dippers.

“Well you know for me it’s never been about the money,” said Johnson. “It’s always been about leading my team into battle. Bryson’s got his Chili-dippers on a roll, so they’re going to give us all we can handle, but I think my guys are up to the challenge.”

This week’s sleeper could be Lee Westwood’s Major Meltdown GC, but they’re going to have their hands full with Sergio Garcia’s Ball Washers. The Ball Washers have really been rounding into form since Sergio sat the team down last month and reminded them of what they’re playing for.

“Look, we’re not just out here playing for obscene amounts of money. We’re trying to build a tradition here…a tradition of playing for once unthinkable sums of cash, and if that doesn’t mean anything to you guys then you ain’t a Ball Washer. You’re just a bunch of dirty balls,” Garcia upbraided his team after a poor showing in Portland.

Joining Phil Mickelson’s Mulligans GC will be former president Donald Trump. It is said that the ex-leader of the free world is rather fond of taking free drops, so he should be well supplied by the Mulligans. Rumor has it that Mickelson has been warned off proposing any side bets with the former president who reportedly hasn’t conceded a lost wager in several decades.

The first two hundred cars to show up for the event will get their gas tanks topped off for free. So, if you’re coming out, you’ll want to coast in on fumes to take advantage of this very special offer.

The Death Kiss

Sometimes a kiss can kill. Murder and suspense rock a Hollywood movie set as leading man Miles Brent is shot dead by a real bullet while filming the final scene for The Death Kiss. As news spreads about the tragedy that has just unfolded, the producers and studio executives of Tonart Studios appear more worried about their investment and how to complete the picture than the death of one of their colleagues.

Studio screenwriter Franklyn Drew puts his mystery crafting skills to work, first discovering that the shooting wasn’t an accident and eventually cracking the case. During his investigation, he continually butts heads with the real detective assigned to the case.

Between the jaded studio execs, the audacious screenwriter, a clownish security guard, a temperamental director and a flustered detective who always seems to be a step or two behind in the investigation, the film is full of humor and works satirically as an early send up of the Hollywood movie industry.

Bela Lugosi stars as a cool-headed studio manager assigned to resolve the complicated situation to everyone’s satisfaction. It’s interesting to see him play a character other than a creepy ghoul, and he does so skillfully, even as the role doesn’t give him a whole lot to work with.

Filmed in 1932 and clocking in at a little over an hour long, this pre-code mystery provides plenty of entertainment. Something to love about these early pictures are the occasional strange shots and conspicuous cuts. These movies were made at a time before filmmakers had developed what would come to be known as Hollywood’s ‘invisible style.’

In the movies closing scenes, Drew attempts to discreetly explain to the detective how the murder went down. But, in a somewhat awkward shot, a hot mic picks up their conversation and tips off the killer, spurring him to take drastic action. Even if the sequence is initially a bit confusing, it’s quickly apparent what’s happening, and the meandering camerawork delivers a clever plot twist. These seemingly strange shots call attention to the fact that you are watching a film, which in this instance adds yet another layer to the film about a murder that’s about a film about a murder.

In an effort to combat inflation, President Biden faces intense pressure to lower legal age for claiming senior discounts

President Biden is under growing pressure from the left-wing of his party to lower the legal age at which one can claim a senior discount from 55 to 48.

Facing a potential shellacking in the upcoming midterm elections due to rising inflation, Democrats are imploring the president to issue an executive order as soon as possible.

In most states the legal age for senior discounts varies between 55 and 62. Congressional Democrats are calling for a national senior discount age that could potentially alleviate the pain of inflation for millions of Americans.

“We need a senior discount age that protects Americans across the nation. We’re all seniors now. Lower each state to 48,” Senator Elizabeth Warren lobbied the president.

Adding to the urgency, business owners have seen a sharp rise in the number of individuals who do not qualify claiming senior discounts at the point of purchase.

The problem has gotten so out of hand that county prosecutors are vowing to prosecute offenders to the fullest extent of the law.

“We’re prepared to throw the book at ‘em,” said Los Angeles District Attorney George Gascon, reacting to criticism that he’s soft on crime. “We’ve got several informants working in various establishments keeping us plugged in to who are the worst offenders. We caught a 25-year-old wearing a silver wig and trying to order off the senior menu. We got a 32-year-old on camera using a walker and wearing a thrift store get up to claim a ten percent discount at the supermarket.”

However, New York DA Alvin Bragg has a different suggestion for those wishing to get a head start on their golden years: “Why don’t you just go in there and steal what you need?”

Large Hadron Collider researchers seeking suggestions for “shit we can smash together”

As the Large Hadron Collider at CERN fires up for “Run 3,” scientists are hoping to experiment with something a little more exciting than just smashing obscure subatomic particles together.

Researchers admit that public interest in new particle discoveries is waning and are embarking on a new round of collisions sure to capture the public’s imagination.

“A big suggestion coming out of the heartland is to smash a Dodge Ram pickup into a Chevy Silverado. This could potentially settle a debate that’s been dividing the truck community for decades,” said CERN spokesperson Otto Von Braun. Promoters of the experiment claim the result of the collision would be a new, never-before-seen heavy duty truck they’re calling the ”God pickup.” Others say it already exists and it’s called the Ford F-150.

Elsewhere, there are reports from Hollywood that Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly have offered to be smashed together in an act of violent lovemaking. “At the moment of climax, we want to be thrust into a black hole and scattered to all corners of the universe,” the pair announced on Instagram.

At the cutting edge of snack research, gastronomers are smashing together chocolate and peanut butter in an extraordinary attempt to find out why these two great tastes taste great together. What makes the resulting whole taste greater than the sum of the two great tastes? Scientists are hoping to discover whether there are special properties comprising ‘wholeness’ that cannot be found in its constituent parts.

Interview Room profiler on Delphi predator: “I don’t think it was his first time”

In last Sunday’s The Interview Room with Chris McDonough, former FBI profiler and executive director of the Cold Case Foundation, Gregory Cooper, sketched out a possible profile of the murderer of Abigail Williams, 13, and Liberty German, 14, of Delphi, Indiana. Assessing solely the Delphi predator’s approach to the crime, Cooper was able to infer a number of probable traits and behaviors exhibited by Bridge Guy. In a somewhat startling claim, Cooper asserted that he believed this crime was not Bridge Guy’s first attempt to go from fantasy to reality.

“I don’t think it was his first time. I think there were other incidents….I think there were other approaches he’s made in the past…maybe other types of assaults…other efforts that have been made. But he’s been practicing, most likely.”

Although not a lot is known about the actual crime scene, Cooper was able to offer some thoughts on the Delphi predator from what is known. Former Carroll County Prosecutor Robert Ives has described the crime scene as “odd” and that it displayed at least three “signatures.” Drawing on that information, Cooper formed some conclusions about Bridge Guy.

“(The presence of) signatures suggest the probability exists that this individual has either committed crimes in the past and/or most likely will commit crimes in the future.”

Cooper also concluded the signatures suggest an emotional and psychological investment in the crime scene. Whereas Ives described the crime scene as ‘staged’ in an effort to trick investigators, Cooper differs from him on that point.

“This is posing….Posing of the body is more of a signature where you‘re now projecting a psychological perspective….There are things he did with those victims that meant something to him….A projection of the personality of the offender into the crime scene. It meant something to him.”

So where does this leave some of the more recent individuals put forward as possible suspects? Do they fit the profile laid out by Cooper during his appearance on The Interview Room?

Due to the recent release of an FBI search warrant affidavit by the Murder Sheet podcast, a number of online sleuthers have been putting forward the now deceased Ron Logan as the killer of Abby and Libby. However, from what is publicly known about Logan, he doesn’t seem to fit Cooper’s profile of the Delphi predator. Additionally, it appears nothing ever came of the search of Logan’s property. To be sure, Logan would have to be one of the most thoughtless predators in criminal history to commit a crime in what is essentially his own backyard and then make no effort to conceal or dispose of the bodies.

One individual authorities have looked at pretty intensely is Kegan Kline. Currently sitting in jail on multiple counts of possession of child pornography, child exploitation and child solicitation, investigators seem to believe he had some involvement or knows something about who perpetrated the murders. The transcript of his interrogation also reveals investigators attempting to pull Kegan’s father, Tony Kline, into the investigation. How many of the boxes do either of the Kline’s check on Gregory Cooper’s Delphi predator profile? Neither of the Klines seem like a perfect fit, but there is much we don’t know about them and it’s possible Cooper’s profile is not without its flaws.

However, this brings up an interesting comment made by former WISH-TV journalist, Demie Johnson, who, during a recent appearance on the Murder Sheet podcast, related information she received from sources inside law enforcment.

“Who else are they looking at? Because I was told in the very beginning when I learned about Kegan Kline that he’s not the guy, he just knows who it is or is part of it. So, to me, it’s like who do they know it is or who do they think it is and why can’t they go after that person? What’s missing and was it a mistake by law enforcement? Did they make mistakes along the way?”

Indeed, one gets the impression from the Kegan Kline interrogation that investigators don’t think he’s the perpetrator. But due to the fact that he was in contact with Liberty the day of the murders, coupled with the peeping tom incident that arose from exchanges with the anthony_shots profile, Kline clearly has some explaining to do. Of course, Kline’s father is the closest person in his orbit, but there are probably many others in the Kline milieu and beyond that are being looked at.

Whoever the Delphi predator is, if he evenly broadly matches Cooper’s profile, it is almost a cosmic certainty that he is deeply immersed in online pornography and some of that most likely involves CSAM. The likelihood that this crime is linked to some organized ring or loose confederation of child predators of diverse intentions and degrees of depravity seems like a pretty good bet. Could one of their number have obtained information about the girls via Kegan Kline or the anthony_shots profile and chose that opportunity to make his approach and carry out his dark fantasies?

Man unable to restrain the power and performance of his Town & Country minivan

A motorist was cited by police for speeding and reckless driving after he was spotted weaving in and out of traffic, making obscene gestures, and driving at an excessive rate of speed on a busy thoroughfare Saturday.

The 42-year-old Columbus native was issued a citation despite explaining to police that he was unable to restrain his Chrysler Town & Country minivan from accelerating rapidly and traveling at high rates of speed.

“This minivan cannot be contained,” argued the man after police said he was witnessed driving over a mile in the left-turn lane. “It won’t just run with the pack.”

“Let me explain something to you about the Town and Country,” the man further elaborated. “It’s a road warrior. It corners like nobody’s business, goes from zero to ‘Hell Yes!’ in the blink of an eye, and still manages to stop on a dime. That’s the ‘Town’ part. In the ‘Country,’ it’s just a blur of shiny metal, a thrilling blend of power and aerodynamics. It’s pure rock ‘n roll, officer.”

“Be that as it may, sir, we still have to issue you a citation,” said the policeman.

“You may have caught up to me this time, officer. But dig this,” the man warned, “the Town and Country has at its disposal evasive maneuvering capabilities unmatched in other domestic minivans. In the future, I will not hesitate to deploy them. Next time, the only thing you’re going to catch is a cloud of my dust.”