Approximately 30 students out of 7,000 attending the Duke University graduation ceremony were suddenly overcome with the urge to relieve themselves just as commencement speaker Jerry Seinfeld was about to deliver his address. The barely perceptible exodus caused a bit of a stir as some booed the small group, while most of the attendees burst into chants of “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!” Despite the minor interruption, Seinfeld’s fifteen minute speech was well received, eliciting frequent laughter and drawing several rounds of applause from the commencement crowd of 20,000.
It is not known whether any of the 30 students were able to make it back to their seats in time for Seinfeld’s closing remarks. However, their absence caused a great deal of concern in the national media with dozens of outlets breathlessly covering the much publicized pee break. NBC News, CNN, USA Today, The New York Times, Business Insider and many more characterized the paltry pee parade as a student walkout.
No doubt the handful of urinators were pleasantly surprised to discover their restroom visitation received a tremendous amount of media attention. However, the rest of humankind must have thought they’d entered the bizarro world when they woke to discover a pee story dominating the news cycle. Many news consumers found themselves justifiably flummoxed over how such a low-level urination event could attract so much media scrutiny.
One could understand all the brouhaha if a quarter to a half of the assembled crowd got up to pee simultaneously. That would be big news, warranting much scuttlebutt and no small amount of hubbub. But like a tenth of a percent? Perhaps it’s only fitting that a Seinfeld commencement speech would attract so many stories about nothing.