Concerned over the short-term occupancy of cash inside his wallet, Lester Bridges was reassured by news that his present circumstances are merely transitory.
“According to most of the experts, our family’s situation is temporary and has been for most of the past year, apparently,” said Bridges. “Gotta say, I was pretty relieved to hear that. The experts are closely monitoring the situation and soon I’m sure my billfold will runneth over.”
Officials point out that the pandemic has caused a global supply chain backlog, which has temporarily resulted in higher prices. Once the supply chain is back online, prices should return to normal levels.
“I sure do hope that’s the case,” said Bridges. “Because, if it isn’t, I’ll soon have to explain to my daughter that the empty space inside her milk cup is the result of a long line of container ships parked in the Pacific Ocean. I have a feeling even my elementary school-age daughter will see through that bullshit.”
Nevertheless, Bridges knows there are many other pressing concerns facing the country and that leadership has its most capable people hard at work on solving the problems facing ordinary working Americans.
“I sure do hope Congress passes that student debt relief,” said Bridges. “It’s heartbreaking to hear stories like AOC drowning in $17,000 in student loan debt. After all, she’s trying to scrape by on a mere $174,000 a year. Then you have the spouse of Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg taking a stand against the resumption of payments.”
According to Politico, Chasten Buttigieg received a notice that his student loan relief from the COVID-19 pandemic will expire on January 31, 2022 and that he’d soon have to resume making payments. Buttigieg posted a screenshot of the notice on Instagram with the caption, “LOL no thank you Merry Christmas next.”
“Good for him. Husband Pete has enough on his plate with the supply chain backlog. You try making payments on two homes and a student loan on a paltry $220,000 a year,” said Bridges.