Month: February 2018

Audacity of mendacity: In mock special counsel interview president tells thirteen provable lies in four minutes

Attorneys and close friends of President Trump are advising him not to sit down with special counsel Robert Mueller after a mock interview caught him in thirteen confirmed lies in four minutes.  When the interview halted for a break after just fifteen minutes, the president was up to 34 falsehoods and could have been potentially looking at 47 years in prison for lying to federal investigators had this been an actual interview.

“When they took the first break, I would have told him to run like hell,” said one official close to the president.

President Trump, on the other hand,thought he was playing his interrogators like a cheap fiddle.  “I’ve got them right where I want them,” exclaimed Trump at the break. His attorneys halted the exercise at this point.

According to sources familiar with the interview, some lies were predictable as when he bragged that he’d won the election by the largest margin in history.  Other lies left some scratching their heads.  “He claimed to have dunked on Obama during a game of one on one basketball at the White House on inauguration day.  He also claims to be project leader on a NASA manned mission to Mars.  He says they’re developing a Trump resort with 18 hole martian championship golf course there.”

Said another official, “It was really something to see.  He was deceiving and misleading, zigging and zagging.  He was playing three dimensional fibbing.”

 

 

Hannity promises bombshell revelations in exclusive interview with Roger Stone Nixon tattoo

As part of Sean Hannity’s relentless drive to uncover the diabolical machinations of the US deep state, the popular Fox News host will air an exclusive interview with the Roger Stone Nixon tattoo.  As many know, the former Nixon ‘dirty trickster’ has a large tattoo of his former boss on his back.  Hannity promises the Nixon tat will “deliver significant insights into the inner workings of a deep state soft coup and the bombshell revelations contained in this interview will make Iran-Contra look like a jaywalking citation.”

The Nixon tat also addresses for the first time the deep state attempt to assassinate Tricky Dicky and his host the dirty trickster Roger Stone during a hit and run car accident in March of 2017.  Apparently the dirty dickster duo were getting too close to the center of the deep state cabal and had to be eliminated before they were scheduled to talk to the Senate Intelligence Committee.  “The startling facts illuminated for the first time in this shocking interview will make the Savings and Loan Scandal look like an unpaid traffic ticket,” says Hannity.

Sure to be caught up in this web of conspiracy will be the Clintons and former President Barack Obama.  “The whole disgraceful deep state enterprise is going down, people,” Hannity promises.  “The nuclear fallout from this explosive interview and the ensuing scandal will make Bill O’Reilly’s 45 million dollar harassment settlements look like a routine wage garnishment for unpaid child support.  That I can promise you folks.”