Tater tots – If there is something

Harris fails to address looming tater tot crisis

With Americans increasingly worried over the nation’s looming tater tot shortage, Democrat presidential nominee Kamala Harris has yet to address the issue.

Citing environmental concerns, the Biden administration closed the nation’s largest tater tot factory located in an undisclosed, underground location in Idaho. According to industry experts, a new manufacturing facility can take years, even decades, to get up and running.

The process for manufacturing tater tots has been a closely guarded national secret ever since their invention in 1953. No other country in the world is capable of fabricating the unique extruded potato cylinders.

Countries like Israel, Russia and China have all claimed to be in possession of tater tot technology, but so far have been unable to produce a viable tater tot. Most of the “tots” produced by these nations appear to more closely resemble irregularly shaped “bites.”

The manufacture of tater tots is a highly specialized process. Located beneath vast potato fields, the Idaho facility sucks the potatoes from below into its underground operation, working around the need to transport potatoes into the factory and possibly reveal its whereabouts.

Kamala Harris has yet to propose an alternative plan for manufacturing tater tots. However, mega billionaire Elon Musk has publicly stated that he could have a working tater tot facility up and running on Mars in less than 72 hours.

China spy balloon sought American tater tot technology

United States officials confirmed Monday that the Chinese spy balloon which terrorized much of the country over the weekend was after America’s closely guarded tater tot technology.

Experts say this is just the latest example of the Chinese attempting to expropriate American intellectual property.

Developed during the cold war, the process for manufacturing tater tots has been a closely guarded national secret ever since their invention in 1953. No other country in the world is capable of fabricating the unique extruded potato cylinders.

U.S. officials have confirmed that the Chinese spy balloon crossed into American airspace from Canada over Idaho. Officials are claiming that the balloon was utilizing ground penetrating radar to learn more about our nation’s vast underground tater tot manufacturing capabilities.

American officials are also exploring the possibility that the Chinese may have been aided by spies working in Canada. “The Canadians would love nothing more than tater tot technology to fall into the hands of the Chinese,” said an unnamed Pentagon source.

Biden to address nation’s Tater tot shortage

With emergency shipments of baby formula making their way to the United States, the Biden administration is now turning its attention to the country’s looming Tater tot crisis.

The Tater tot shortage came about after the Biden administration closed the nation’s only Tater tot factory located in an undisclosed, underground location in Idaho.

Countries like Israel, Russia and China have all claimed to be in possession of Tater tot technology, but so far have been unable to produce a viable Tater tot. Most of the “tots” produced by these nations appear to more closely resemble irregularly shaped “bites.”

The manufacture of Tater tots is a highly specialized process. Located beneath vast potato fields, the Idaho facility sucks the potatoes from below into its underground operation, working around the need to transport potatoes into the factory and possibly reveal its whereabouts.

The Biden administration has yet to come up with an alternative plan for manufacturing Tater tots. However, mega billionaire Elon Musk has publicly stated that he could have a working Tater tot facility up and running on Mars in less than 72 hours.