Build Back Biden

Not long into last week’s presidential debate, it became apparent that the Biden operating system was timing out and beginning to power down.  The President’s debate handlers desperately tried to get Lunch Pale Joe back on track, but to no avail.  A frantic call went out to the President’s aides:

“White House, I can’t hold him!  He’s breaking up!  He’s breaking up!”

The mood among Biden’s team went from disbelief and denial to gloom and hopelessness in the span of a commercial break.  Maddow, Reid and Wallace quickly surmised that Trump must have wielded some occult MAGA magic and surreptitiously cast a spell of confusion over the unsuspecting Commander-in-Chief.

After the initial meltdown had subsided, Morning Joe broke in to rally the Biden forces: 

“Joe Biden, President, a man barely awake after 8:00 p.m.  People, we can rebuild him.  We have the technology.  We can make him better than he was.  Better . . . stronger . . . faster.  We can extend his hours past 8:00 p.m.  They will say, ‘Joe never closes.’  They will call him, ‘24-Hour Joe.’  They will know that even if the dining room is closed, the drive-thru is still open.  We can Build…Back…Biden.  He will be the world’s first six trillion dollar president.”