Walmart has announced it will close its two remaining stores in Portland, Oregon, throwing 580 employees out of work and leaving over 1500 shoplifters scrambling to find another location to ply their trade. The retailer’s decision coincides with a mass departure of businesses from the city over underperforming revenue due to theft and other factors.
Reaction to the news was mixed with some shoplifters complaining that the large retail theft operations had made it nearly impossible for the smaller shoplifters to do business. “You got these big-time operations that come in here with their smash and grab mob and their dozens of vehicles and just wipe out the store’s whole stock, leaving just a few scraps for the small ‘mom and pop’ shoplifters to fight over. Now there ain’t going to be nothing. They ruined it for everybody,” said one man, identified only as Sneaky Pete.
Others complain this has been a ‘mom and pop’ conspiracy from the start. “Everybody knows that when these big-boxers moved in, they ran all the ‘mom and pop’ businesses out of the area. Now ask yourself, who benefits from these big retailers shutting down? That’s who’s been committing all these robberies. It’s the revenge of mom and pop,” said one disgruntled patron.
Meanwhile, at a nearby park a make-shift marketplace has sprung up specializing in “recovered retail.” One independent retailer seems unbothered by the news of the Walmart departure. “Come on by Five Finger Freddy’s. We got the lowest prices in town – guaranteed,” the man boasts.
If there is something 