Gargantuan alien monolith appears in small midwestern city

Residents of a sleepy midwestern city awoke Saturday morning to discover a four-story stone monolith in their midst.  Officials are at a loss to explain when exactly the towering structure appeared and how it got there.

“Friday night there was nothing there but an empty lot.  This morning there appeared a new addition to the city skyline.  We have no idea who put it there or how it was constructed.  There is no heavy equipment or machinery in sight, and the ground surrounding it is undisturbed,” said the city’s mayor who requested he and his town remain anonymous, fearing an onslaught of visitors to the area.

Local police reported no sightings of unidentified aerial phenomenon in the area overnight, leaving officials at a loss to explain how the monolith came to be at that spot on the downtown landscape. 

“I’m thinkin’ it was built underground and pushed up to the surface in the middle of the night,” said one local resident.

An engineering professor at a local university had another theory.  “What we’re most likely looking at is the product of some advanced nanotechnology of which we are presently unfamiliar.  If indeed aliens built this monolith, they probably directed a tiny, undetectable probe to the area from which millions of nanobots emerged and fabricated the structure.  Who knows, it may have been erected in a manner of minutes.”

Researchers at the site have confirmed they believe the monolith to be hollow.  Although the structure contains no doors or windows, researchers have said they can detect activity inside.

“Undoubtedly they’re building something inside the monolith.  What they’re building is anybody’s guess.  Maybe a transformer or some space/time portal,” said the professor.  “Whatever it is, we should know their intentions soon enough.”         

Update:  Moments before this story was issued for publication, authorities confirmed the alien monolith is actually a cinder block elevator shaft and part of a larger terrestrial construction project.  Turns out nobody paid any attention to it until all this monolith business began.

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