Tag: Washington DC

Federal officials brace for Freedom Scooter Convoy headed toward DC

Fences and barricades are being erected around the Washington D.C. area, and the Department of Homeland Security is deploying 500 staff, hoping to head off a Freedom Scooter Convoy that is gathering momentum as it sweeps across the nation.   

Angry seniors are fleeing retirement homes and nursing facilities and joining the convoy as it patiently inches its way across the fruited plain toward the nation’s capital.  Nearly 500 strong, the Freedom Scooter Convoy is currently creeping its way through Scottsdale, Arizona.  Organizers expect the convoy to reach Washington D.C. by Labor Day. 

In Washington, federal officials are scrambling to put the nation’s capital on a secure footing.  “We’ve deployed National Guard troops to the city’s shopping malls.  We’re also securing buffet style dining establishments, libraries and just about any location where people can gather and drink an inexpensive cup of coffee,” said White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki.

Reporters asked whether the convoy intended to disrupt or blockade traffic as part of its protest.  “We’re keeping a close eye on the situation,” Psaki said.  “However, from what we’re seeing, rather than blocking busy interstates and city traffic, the scooter convoys seem to be bypassing the congestion by sticking to the shoulders or motoring in between lanes.  We don’t expect to have a problem here in Washington as our roadways are already quite heavily congested.”

It is still unclear what the Freedom Scooter Convoy hopes to achieve with its protest.  One participant named Silver Fox, who is riding with the Little Rascals Gang, said she wants the family visitation policy at her senior home returned to the pre-Covid normal.  Additionally, she would like to see a resumption of conjugal visit opportunities with her man on the outside.

Newseum to close as paywall turns away visitors

Behind a $25 paywall and struggling to attract visitors, the Newseum in Washington DC will close its doors on Tuesday, ending its mission to educate the public of the importance of a free press.

Like so many news organizations these days, the Newseum struggled to attract eyeballs to its myriad of stories and exhibits.  “What are you going to do when you’ve got the National Gallery of Art across the street enticing visitors with eye catching and clickbaity exhibitions?  All free, by the way,” offers Sonya Gavankar the Newseum’s director of public relations.

President Trump even expressed his condolences on Friday, tweeting, “So sad to see the Fake Newseum closing its doors after ten years of deceiving the public, and its $25 admission fee truly made it an enemy of the people.”

However, in recent years some have questioned the Newseum’s choice of exhibits.  One interactive display entitled “Hail A Cab For A Drunk Journalist” offered the visitor an authentic 1970s era encounter with an inebriated newsman stumbling out of DC bar.  The participant struggles to hustle the overweight lush into a cab while the reporter brags about all the secrets he could spill, and vows that one day he’ll blow the lid off this town.