Federal officials brace for Freedom Scooter Convoy headed toward DC

Fences and barricades are being erected around the Washington D.C. area, and the Department of Homeland Security is deploying 500 staff, hoping to head off a Freedom Scooter Convoy that is gathering momentum as it sweeps across the nation.   

Angry seniors are fleeing retirement homes and nursing facilities and joining the convoy as it patiently inches its way across the fruited plain toward the nation’s capital.  Nearly 500 strong, the Freedom Scooter Convoy is currently creeping its way through Scottsdale, Arizona.  Organizers expect the convoy to reach Washington D.C. by Labor Day. 

In Washington, federal officials are scrambling to put the nation’s capital on a secure footing.  “We’ve deployed National Guard troops to the city’s shopping malls.  We’re also securing buffet style dining establishments, libraries and just about any location where people can gather and drink an inexpensive cup of coffee,” said White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki.

Reporters asked whether the convoy intended to disrupt or blockade traffic as part of its protest.  “We’re keeping a close eye on the situation,” Psaki said.  “However, from what we’re seeing, rather than blocking busy interstates and city traffic, the scooter convoys seem to be bypassing the congestion by sticking to the shoulders or motoring in between lanes.  We don’t expect to have a problem here in Washington as our roadways are already quite heavily congested.”

It is still unclear what the Freedom Scooter Convoy hopes to achieve with its protest.  One participant named Silver Fox, who is riding with the Little Rascals Gang, said she wants the family visitation policy at her senior home returned to the pre-Covid normal.  Additionally, she would like to see a resumption of conjugal visit opportunities with her man on the outside.

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