Ageing rock stars suffering under Covid rockdown restrictions

Rockdown restrictions appear to be taking their toll on some of our most beloved ageing rock stars.  Most recently, a cantankerous Neil Young insisted Spotify remove his catalog from its service saying he won’t share the platform with the likes of Joe Rogan.  In a letter to his management team, Young wrote:  “I want you to let Spotify know immediately TODAY that I want all my music off their platform. They can have Rogan or Young. Not both.”

In the letter, the “Rockin’ in the Free World” composer reveals the source of his displeasure with the popular streaming service.  “I am doing this because Spotify is spreading fake information about vaccines – potentially causing death to those who believe the disinformation being spread by them. Please act on this immediately today and keep me informed of the time schedule.”

Some say Mr. Young’s frustration with Spotify has even spilled over into his music.  According to fans at a recent event, Young took aim at the streaming giant when he altered some of his lyrics to sing, “We need a kinder, gentler speech ban hand.”  

Then there is Eric Clapton, for whom it all came into focus, when he first discovered mass formation hypnosis.   “I didn’t get the memo, whatever the memo was, it hadn’t reached me. Then I started to realize there was really a memo… It’s great, you know, the theory of mass hypnosis formation. And I could see it then. Once I started to look for it, I saw it everywhere.” 

Not you, Slowhand and Shaky.  Gentlemen, the politics of this shit is poison.  It’ll destroy your brain.  Please, do something constructive.  Snort a few lines of blow, pick up your guitars and get back about the business of rock and roll.  “She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie…”

Spotify inks $100 deal for exclusive rights to 270 Doctors Podcast

Champagne glasses were clinking this morning after executives at Spotify announced they’d reached an agreement following days of intense negotiations with the 270 doctors.  The deal covers six months and will reportedly pay the 270 doctors $100 for exclusive rights to stream their podcast.

Spotify had come under intense pressure in recent days after 270 doctors issued an open letter criticizing the streaming service for allowing the Joe Rogan podcast to spread “dangerous” Covid misinformation.  Hoping to avoid a public relations nightmare, Spotify entered into negotiations with the doctors and eventually agreed to give them their own show.  The show will focus primarily on combating Covid misinformation but may also occasionally weigh in on some of the false messaging surrounding Mixed Martial Arts.   

The 270 doctors, who it is universally acknowledged on Twitter and in the mainstream media represent the entire medical establishment, reads like a who’s who of public health heavy hitters.  They are doctors, scientists, veterinarians, psychologists and medical students raising their collective voices to put an end to the escalating Covid “infodemic.”  However, promotion by the mainstream press, cable news and social media platforms is no match for taking on the powerful Joe Rogan machine.  The doctors hope their new podcast will once and for all put an end to the lies, so the American people can get back on the same page, guided exclusively by the thoughtful, uniformed, non contradictory messaging of the nation’s public health apparatus.

The deal also extended a .1 percent cut of the revenue generated from the avalanche of downloads of Spotify and the Joe Rogan podcast resulting from the 270 doctors letter controversy.

Asked for comment, Rogan seemed a little shaken by news of the new show, as if the 270 Doctors Podcast represented a potential threat to his empire of lies and falsehoods.  “Good for them.  I hope they’ll have me on their show.  We can hang out and smoke a big J.”