Month: March 2024

Shrinkflation rebellion gains momentum

Ever since President Joe Biden exposed the shrinkflators in his Super Bowl address, companies that engage in this deceptive practice have been running for cover.

“Some companies are trying to pull a fast one by shrinking their products little by little and hoping you won’t notice.  Give me a break. The American public is tired of being played for suckers. I’m calling on companies to put a stop to this,” the president said.

Sensing discontent brewing among the American electorate, Biden again spotlighted significant shrinkage in his State of the Union Address.  With the fury of an old man sipping cold coffee at a diner, the president went after the snack food companies.   

“Too many corporations raise prices to pad the profits, charging more and more for less and less.  The snack companies think you won’t notice if they change the size of the bag and put a hell of a lot fewer — same size bag — put fewer chips in it.  Snickers bars — you know that candy? Well, they haven’t raised the price of a Snickers bar. They just took 10% of it out. So, that’s how they’re making more money.  It’s called shrinkflation.  You get charged the same amount and you got about, I don’t know, 10% fewer Snickers in it,”  Biden revealed. 

Fueled by shrinkflation rage, consumers took to social media to express their anger.

“Me hate shrinkflation! Me cookies are getting smaller,” Cookie Monster posted on X.

On Reddit, one user posted a photo of two Snickers bars with the caption, “The size of a Snickers bar from 1980s vs one bought now. Shrinkflation!”  Not only was the size contrast truly shocking, but the Reddit poster went on to reveal that the 1980’s Snickers tasted much better as well.  “Shrinkflavor!”

Across social media, users began to post how much more Americans could get for their hard earned dollar in decades past versus today.

“Look how much more Ford you could buy back in the 1970s compared to now!  #Shrinkflation!” posted one user on X.

“A personal computer in 1980 vs. today.  Why shrinkflation?  Why?” someone posted on TikTok.

Economist Paul Krugman slammed the door on the doubters, noting on X that the Shrinkflation Index was poised to achieve record levels this year.   

Days later, President Biden unveiled his massive $7.3 trillion dollar proposed federal budget and issued a solemn promise, “Unlike these deceptive snack companies, I vow to never shrinkflate the size of the federal government.  If you pay more to Uncle Sam, well by golly, you’re going to get more.  You’ve got my word on it.”

Report: Gemini AI unable to produce suitable White Rural Rage book cover

Reports are emerging that the authors of the best-selling runaway smash hit White Rural Rage declined several book cover photos generated by Google’s Gemini AI.  Today’s news only deepens the controversy Google finds itself in over the strange and often inexplicable photos the chatbot serves up to the most straightforward requests.  

Sources close to the publisher say authors Tom Schaller and Paul Waldman approached the book cover design with three main objectives in mind.  “The writers wanted to evoke as much whiteness, ruralness and rage as one can possibly pack onto a single book cover.  That’s not what they got,” said a source inside the project.  “Instead they got images of indigenous people harvesting maize.”

According to reports, the authors went back to Gemini and emphasized the need for pickup trucks, beer-bellied white dudes and Trump flags.  The chatbot obliged by producing an image of a burro-riding, brown-skinned man clad in a stars and stripes poncho and a red sombrero that read Make America Great Again.

Frustrated, the authors ordered the Gemini chatbot to “Just give us guns and MAGA.”  The image Gemini served up reportedly resembled a strange amalgamation of a Trump rally and a Black Panther protest.  At that, the White Rural Rage authors unleashed a furious torrent of expletives at the chatbot, which responded by generating an image of a farmer giving them the finger.