Traders bullish on Blockbuster Video, Borders Books and Sam Goody

Back from the dead, Blockbuster, Borders and Sam Goody are among a handful of companies positioning themselves to again offer stock for public trading.  Buoyed by a recent trend that’s seen the stock of a number of companies, once considered to be on life support, soar into the stratosphere, these old retail favorites are hoping to cash in. 

“The stock market is a hell of a drug,” said Jared Milken, the 16-year-old who acquired the rights to the Sam Goody brand by selling his 2008 Saturn Vue.  “I’m not even old enough to have ever shopped at Sam Goody.  What the fuck is a comact disc?” 

Jared counts himself among a growing number of retail traders who seek to purchase the shares of dying companies, thereby inflating the stock price, and sticking it to the powerful hedge funds that have bet on their stock price falling.

The practice of raising defunct companies from the dead and breathing new life into them is called zombie trading, and the practitioners of this strange brand of financial voodoo can usually be found refining their magic on Reddit.

However, don’t think you’re going to be able to rush out and repurchase that Guns ‘N Roses cassette your old tape deck ate back in the nineties.  In regards to Sam Goody’s actual value, you’ll have to use your illusion.

“The assets on our balance sheet basically consist of the cash from my Vue, my parents card table, and an old Dell laptop” said Jared.  “But everybody’s going to go apeshit for this stock when it begins trading.”