A group of motorists today is calling on the public to exhibit a little more patience while they finish scrolling on their phones at traffic signals and stop signs. They claim other motorists are way too quick to tap their horns while waiting on drivers to wrap up their social media posting.
“It’s gotten to be such a hassle,” said one young person who refused to give her name. “I mean, I’m at a red light just trying to finish an Instagram post and this impatient asshole taps his horn after the light turns green. I’m like, yeah I see it, give me a second here.”
Recent analysis of traffic patterns has shown that driver reaction time from when a signal turns from red to green has slowed from an average of 1.3 seconds to 2.8. The result has been a reduction in traffic flow and increased congestion. Many motorists blame the stop light scrollers for creating the problem.
“The light turns and they just sit there. It’s like, could you stop shopping for a moment and resume driving?” offered one very cranky oldtimer.
“I don’t think some people realize how in demand I am on social media,” said Instagram influencer, Natasha Rambova. “If I’m not posting in a timely manner, my followers notice my absence and become quite anxious and concerned.”
Some municipalities have toyed with the idea of increasing the duration of red lights. While the idea has proven to be quite popular with the scrolling set, most motorists are predictably hostile.
“Put your #*^#$-r#$@&%+ phone down and go,” one waiting motorist could be observed screaming.
If there is something 