Cursing Cheerleader has some choice words for the Supreme Court

The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments Wednesday in what could turn out to be a landmark free speech case.  As both sides prepare to present arguments, the young woman at the center of the controversy, commonly known as the Cursing Cheerleader, had a few choice words for the nine justices:  “Don’t fuck this up SCOTUS.  Cheerleading is my goddamn life and everybody else can kiss my ass, bitch.”

The dispute stems from an incident four years ago in which a high school freshman cheerleader failed to make the varsity cheer squad, prompting the girl to issue a profanity laced rant directed at her school and cheer team.  “Fuck school, fuck softball, fuck cheer, fuck everything,” the teen posted on Snapchat.  As is the fashion in recent years, an opportunistic young tattle-tale took a screenshot of the post and showed it to the appropriate authorities who promptly suspended the girl from the cheer team.  

An expletive laden friend-of-the-court brief was filed on the teen’s behalf by notable free speech advocates Ice-T, Luther Campbell, Willie D, Jello Biafra and the estates of Frank Zappa and George Carlin.  The brief read in part:

I gotta bone to pick cause I’m sick

Of you motherfuckers talkin shit

We put you up, you put us down and I’m mad

Time to talk about your dog ass

The brief goes on to make a number of salient points defending the rights of all Americans to engage in free and spirited discourse without fear of sanction or retribution:

Fuck the motherfuckin critics, fuck newspapers

Fuck the radio stations

And fuck your parents against rap

We buried ya fuckin cockroaches

Court watchers worry that a ruling against the Cursing Cheerleader could muzzle the voices of young women everywhere, and potentially dishonor the memory and achievements of the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who as a young law student once threatened to set her professor’s balls on fire for a bad grade she received.  The professor was so impressed with the young law student’s spirit and pluck that, instead of suspending the not-yet-notorious RBG, he raised her grade.  A decision in the case is expected by this summer.