Month: November 2025

Favorite Bot Not Made In America

Many X users are reeling today after discovering their favorite “America First” account was not made in America.  It appears the United States is importing a lot of its patriotic and “pro-MAGA” content from places like Pakistan and Nigeria.

“Just one more thing we don’t make in America anymore,” lamented one social media user.

On the flip side, it was also revealed that some of the left’s favorite grievance catnip is originating from places like India, Bangladesh, Qatar and North Africa.

For once, users on both sides seem to agree that we need to stop off-shoring our culture war content.  Knowing where the information is coming from is a good first step toward assessing its reliability. 

However, it is probably the case that your average online culture warrior doesn’t give a shit where their content originates as long as it’s feeding their priors.  So the extent to which users are being manipulated may not be that great.  Everyone wants to think the other side is being misled, while they’re being given the straight dope.

As for this content, it’s beaming straight out of the American heartland.  This account offers up authentic, corn-fed content too dim-witted and poorly presented to have been written by an artificial impersonator.  

That’s how you know you’re getting the real deal. 

Rash of leaf blower thefts reported

Investigators arrested a man they believe is responsible for a rash of leaf blower thefts in this normally crime-free neighborhood of Paw Paw, Michigan.

Reports of the thefts first emerged a couple weeks ago when homeowners went to undertake the annual ritual of removing fallen leaves from their lawns only to discover that the leaf blowers were missing from their garages. 

After weeks of investigation, detectives zeroed in on a man who had been making a number of disparaging comments about leaf blowers in neighborhood Facebook groups.

Joseph Brickman, age 62 of Paw Paw, wrote in one thread that the sound of leaf blowers “wheezing throughout the neighborhood” was driving him crazy and that he intended “to do something about it.”  However, no one paid any attention to Mr. Brickman because no one ever paid any attention to Mr. Brickman. 

Brickman commented that the near constant noise of 2-stroke engines revving was like “living next to a go-kart track.”  He also compared the sound to a moose call and complained that he worked nights and couldn’t get any sleep during the day as a  “cacophony of lonely moose” made it impossible for him to get any peace.

Investigators became even more suspicious of Brickman when they observed him silently using a rake to gather his leaves into piles.  After questioning Brickman, he allowed them to search his garage where they discovered dozens of leaf blowers stashed under a tarp.  Brickman explained that he’d acquired the devices over the years, but they all “broke down because they’re pieces of junk.”  

Eventually, authorities were able to trace the leaf blowers back to their owners and now the decibel level in the neighborhood has returned to normal.