Bystander performs daring keg stand rescue in pedal pub mishap

A quick-thinking good samaritan is recovering today after participating in a dramatic rescue of patrons trapped beneath an overturned pedal pub.  Robert Drake and two of his companions were watching the NBA playoffs at a local tavern when they heard cries for ‘help’ coming from the street outside.  They immediately ran to the scene where they discovered a number of individuals trapped beneath an overturned pedal pub.

“A bunch of people were trying to lift the wagon, but it was too heavy due to the full kegs of beer onboard,” recounted Drake.  “The tap was wedged against the street so my buddies held me upside down by the legs while I managed to get the tap in my mouth.  I was battling physics and the laws of gravity, but I managed to drain enough beer from the kegs that we were able to set the vehicle upright.”

Rescue personnel on the scene were in disbelief over the heroic efforts of Mr. Drake and his friends.  “Nothing in our training prepares us for an accident of this nature.  The gentlemen and his companions are to be commended for their bravery and ingenuity,” one rescuer commented.

Humbled by the attention, Drake admitted that he just did what anyone else in his position would have done.

“Although I flunked out of college, I actually had a fair amount of experience performing that particular maneuver.  My buddies probably struggled more than I did being that I’m about 75 pounds heavier than I was back in the day,” Drake said.  “Anyway, I don’t think I did anything that special.  I guess it’s just a situation where my instincts took over.  I feel like if it had been me trapped under that pedal pub, then someone else would have performed a lifesaving keg stand.  Needless to say, I yacked pretty hard once I was back on my feet again.”

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