Month: October 2019

Scientists observe quantum superposition of large molecules. Man’s dream of spending more time at the pub about to be realized.

For years, Ben Stump’s life crept along at its petty pace from day to day with little variation in routine and little hope for escaping its dreariness.  Then, suddenly, one miraculous morning, there was change. The sun shone brightly on Ben and old hopes and dreams at once came back into focus. On this morning, Ben read the news that scientists had demonstrated that giant molecules could be in two places at once.  It would be only a matter of time, Ben thought, before the miracle of quantum superpositioning would free him to do the same.

In addition to spending the evening on the sofa with the wife watching the most recent episode of The Voice, Ben could also be down at the pub, throwing back cold ones and chain smoking with his friends.  While he toiled at his unfulfilling job, he could simultaneously occupy a bar stool, eat peanuts and play scratch off tickets. Even during those monthly hook-ups with his wife, he wouldn’t have to miss one second of the football game as he would also be down at the sports bar bathed in the glow of a hundred big screen televisions.  “Oh glorious day,” Ben rejoiced!

However, in short order, dark clouds began to crowd out the sunlight that had momentarily entered Ben’s life.  He imagined himself seated on the sofa with Mrs. Stump watching Dancing With The Stars while simultaneously sitting with her in bed watching a Hallmark movie.  He couldn’t shake the thought of the pair attending church on Sunday while also spending the day antique shopping. The specter of the monthly hook-up doubled and then doubled again.  Horror stacked upon horror! Throwing away the newspaper, Ben vowed never to superposition himself again.

Add helping the elderly cross the street to the list of hate gestures

Last week saw the ‘OK’ hand gesture and ‘Bowlcut’ hairstyle added to a list of hate symbols used by far-right extremists.  Events in Hamilton, Ontario over the weekend would seem to indicate that consideration should be given to other gestures as well.  

Video posted online of an antifascist demonstration outside Mohawk College shows protesters taking a brave stand against the time-honored tradition of helping elderly people cross the street.  Masked antifascist protesters blocked a crosswalk outside the college, preventing an elderly couple from passing. Holding firm to their most deeply held antifascist convictions, the protesters shouted “Nazi scum” at the pair, one of whom was using a walker. 

“It’s been known for some time that fascists will often use kind gestures, like assisting the elderly, to signal other fascists in their midst,” said one anonymous antifascist protester.  “Of course, these practices are not just limited to helping someone cross the street. A fascist might hold the door for someone, or give up their seat on the bus to a pregnant woman. Although these gestures might seem harmless enough, make no mistake, these are symbols of hate, and if we have to inconvenience the elderly and disabled to take a stand against hate, then we’re willing to do it.”

The protests weren’t just confined to crosswalks, other antifascists blocked wheelchair ramps and pepper sprayed service dogs.  “Service dogs were big with Nazis,” said one protester clad entirely in black, an eye sporting a monocle peered over the top of his face mask as he brandished a telescoping baton.  “Fascism has many disguises,” he remarked, pointing at the elderly couple who had given up trying to cross the street and turned back.